I once had a fear of needles. This fear lasted until I was twenty-three. This was not just a small fear; it caused me to scream, squirm, and have panic attacks any time a needle came within five feet of my body. Honestly, it was quite embarrassing.
“God, please take away my fear of needles,” I would beg.
Of course, in my mind, I expected to instantly be able to respond without screams, squirms, and attacks when approached by a needle. Could God have miraculously cured me of this fear? Of course. But, for some reason, He chose not to work that way.
My great all-knowing God did answer my prayer; however, just in a way that I would have never chosen. Infertility.
Our struggle with infertility led me to getting shots and blood taken at least three times a week. I had to make a choice–it was either be in a constant state of panic or suck it up, Buttercup. It was not easy to change my mindset, but eventually, with God’s infinite grace, needles ceased to cause such a dramatic and traumatic response.
What did this experience teach me? It taught me to be more cautious when choosing words to pray. For example, a prayer for patience might lead to years of waiting. A prayer for wisdom might lead to an undesirable and life-changing event.
It also taught me that no matter how God chooses to answer prayer, it is always in our best interest and in his perfect timing. Sometimes, I still wonder why He could not have just waved his sovereign hand and taken away my fear. But, I am grateful He didn’t. He knew that my faith in Him would grow more by having to trust Him. He also knew that I would need that faith and trust on many days to come.